The Day Sunshiine Was Born
It was 12:06 am and the end of life as I knew it…
The pain gripped me sharply, suddenly & tore me from my sleep. I'd wondered about this moment. "When will it happen", "how will I know" were queries that saddled my consciousness as week 40 approached. I had marked my calendar the December prior and affixed my eyes on the day I'd likely meet her.
Bags packed, plan written and pre-registered I was ready for her. Or so I thought.
I teetered between reality and uncertainty, I was about to see her face. The eyes I mapped in my mind, coming. The lips whose shape I traced, coming. The nose I speculated about, coming. Her hair, her ears, her toes, her cry - I wondered about them all.
I was on the verge of solidifying my place among the women who knew the love of a child and the pain of their birth. Me. In my 27 years I hadn't, nor could I have, experienced anything that would have prepared me for life as it was evolving that very moment.
Intensity was the name of the game and I was playing rookie. Within an hour I was dressed and scanning the house for anything I may have forgotten as dad ushered me toward the door. That was the last time we'd stand under that roof, the two of us. We climbed into the car and I cautioned him against hitting any bumps. (seriously... don’t hit one!)
We shuffled into the ER, I scarred the nurses and anyone within earshot of maternity triage and within a few hours was 6.5 centimeters closer to meeting our girl.
After the peak of what I'm certain is the greatest physical demand I'll ever know and the last rest I'd see alone the most beautiful, honest and hopeful part of me was earth side. Like she had been here all along. Like she knew she was needed here, she settled into my arms and my heart in the most permeating manner.
My life was forever and irrevocably changed. More than just a mother, she made me. I only pray to bring her life a portion of the joy and fulfillment she's brought mine. Forever and a day more my dear sweet girl... ☼
Happy Birthday Solana